User blog:Aspen the leafwing-rainwing-sandwing tribrid/When you smile at me....
Author's note: I do not own these characters, they belong to Shannon Messenger. Hi everyone! So this a Solinh fanfic, if you read it, please let me know what you thought. Constructive critiscm is fine, but please don't hate. If you dislike this, you can still be polite about it. And remember that homophobia will not be tolerated. Hope you enjoy! :) Linh Song forced her jaw to unclench, tried to tamp down the sudden jealousy that surged through her. Her muscles obediently relaxed, but she couldn't completely surpress the jealousy, despite how she hated feeling it, while Sophie was smiling. Normally it would have filled her heart with joy, sent a glowing warmth from her toes to the silved-dipped tips of her hair. But not when Sophie was smiling at Fitz like that. Out of all the elves she could have smiled at, it had to be Fitz. It was even worse than when she smiled Keefe. Linh had realized early on she had no interest in boys, and she often wondered if her parents had noticed too, and that was why they hadn't fought her banishment harder. Yet even she could tell that Fitz was cute. And she, she was just an Exillium Wayward, a twin, quiet.... she could never compare with Fitz or Keefe. Despair buried the jealousy. Linh fought that back too. She refused to be so negative. "Linh?" Her name yanked Linh's mind back to Havefield. She turned her head to find Sophie studying her, concern written into her gold-flecked brown eyes. Sophie disliked them for marking her as different, as well as considering them boring, but Linh thought they were beautiful and unique, not to mention warmer and kinder than any blue eyes she had ever seen. More so than, as Linh suspected, any blue eyes could ever even be. "Are you all right?" Sophie asked. Linh's mind was still catching up, and the way Sophie was holding her gaze made it even slower. "I'm fine," she finally managed. "Are you sure?" Sophie pressed. "Just lost in thought." Linh gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. Although Sophie returned her attention to the ongoing conversation among their friends, she seemed unconvinced. No doubt she would ask Linh again later. After all, Sophie was always concerned about her friends. Linh found it incredibly sweet of her, but it also made it so much harder and more painful to lie. It couldn't be helped. Some secrets had to be kept, even if it hurt. Linh choked back a sigh, partially to avoid drawing any attention, mainly just because she hated all the negativity stewing in her lately. She had resolved to focus on the positive, to cherish her friendships, and enjoy what time she had with Sophie. If only as a close friend. But as her feelings increased, it grew harder by the day. Soon... well, Linh didn't know what would be soon. All she knew was that she was stuck in a practically impossible situation. She had no idea how long she could go on like this, yet she knew there was little she could do otherwise. Unless..... what if she just was honest with Sophie? Told her how she couldn't stop thinking about her, how, to Linh, she was perfectly imperfect in every possible way. No. Linh couldn't do that to herself, to Sophie, to everyone else. Be positive, Linh reminded herself. She could do that. It was how she had survived Exillium, it would be how she survived this. She would steel her heart against the needles that stabbed through it whenever Sophie gave Fitz or Keefe a special smile, she would cherish would she had rather than dwell on what she didn't. Linh strengthened her resolve one more time, yet the idea of being honest with Sophie had taken root. She couldn't quite shake it, despite how disastrous its outcomes would be. Or would it? Could there be a chance... No. Positivity was good, even crucial, false hopes, on the other hand, would destroy her. Linh had already experienced the damage they could do, damage she wasn't letting happen to herself ever again. Linh couldn't make herself focus on the conversation, instead, she diverted her thoughts from Sophie by forcing them to drift, letting, or perhaps, more accurately, making, her mind sink into a sea of memories. Manifesting, flooding Atlantis, being banished, starting at Exilium... scene after scene swam through her mind, but one kept returning, no matter how persistently Linh tried to ban it from her thoughts. Flying on Greyfell's back, Sophie riding Silveny, the wind whipping their faces, the exilerating rush of freedom as the alicorns swooped across the sky. It played on loop, until it Linh was daydreaming, the memory giving way to a fantasy... She was sitting on Silveny, right behind Sophie, the two girls wedged close against each other. As Silveny took flight Linh wrapped her arms around Sophie's waist, leaning on her a little. They laughed as Silveny soared, cool wind sending Linh's black strands flying behind her, tossing Sophie's blonde locks into her face. They were free, they were happy, they could just have flown together forever. When Silveny tired, landing back in Havenfield's pastures, Sophie gave her a quick goodnight kiss before they parted, the two of them already having planned to meet the next day... Stop it. You're making it worse, Linh thought. The fantasy refused to fade though, begging her to let herself keep imagining a world where Sophie loved her back. The word 'alicorns' suddenly caught her attention. Wondering what she'd missed, Linh started to properly listen to her friends' conversation again. "...need to check on Silveny still," Sophie was saying. "You're welcome to stay, but I have to go." "It's fine," Biana answered. "Fitz and I should be going too." "And I promised I'd babysit the triplets tonight," Dex groaned. "I could do with a bit of extra training time," Marella agreed. "I should also go- I don't want my Dear Daddy to miss me too much." Keefe's joking tone and casual smirk didn't quite conceal the lonely bitterness underneath. "You don't need to stay with him," Sophie protested. "I'm sure I could arrange something. We could even clear out a room here until we find a better place." "Tempting, Foster, but I'll have to decline that." "Why?" Sophie asked. "I know how unhappy you are with your dad, why don't you just leave?" Breathe, Linh. Breathe. She cares about all her friends like that. It doesn't mean anything. And even if it did, you should be happy for her. Stop being selfish, Linh berated herself. She was happy for Sophie in a way. She loved- for it was love, Linh had long stopped trying to convince herself otherwise- Sophie, and she wanted her to be happy. That still didn't make it hurt any less to watch her with Fitz or Keefe. The smiles, the concern... it was breaking Linh's heart. The girl she would never have, and always wish for. So close, yet so impossibly far. "Someone needs to make my Dad's life miserable," Keefe replied. "If you're sure....," Sophie sighed. Linh knew how worried she was about Keefe since he'd moved back in with his father. She was too- she knew firsthand the damage it could do to you to live with someone like that. And she'd always had Tam. As if her thinking his name had somehow caused him to speak, Linh heard him say, "Linh? We should be going too." He was right. But Linh didn't want to go yet; she longed to be in Sophie's company just a little longer. "Wait!" she said, as Sophie turned to leave, having given up trying to persuade Keefe to not return to his dad. "Could I come with you to the alicorns? I haven't seen them in ages, and I would love to!" It wasn't exactly a lie. She did really like Silveny and Greyfell- not to mention their adorable babies. It just wasn't the reason she wanted to stay. Tam gave her a look that said quite clearly that he knew the real reason, but didn't say anything aloud. "Didn't Tam say you needed to go home, though?" Sophie replied. Before Linh could answer, her brother jumped in. "It's fine. I'll tell Tiergan Linh will be a bit late." He studied Linh again; his eyes warning her to keep her heart guarded. "In that case, sure!" With a lot of waving and a chorus of good-byes, the rest of their friends light-leaped away. "Silveny will be delighted; she's really missed you," Sophie mentioned conversationally as she and Linh strode across Havenfield's pastures. The afternoon sun was sinking low, gradually disappearing from the horizon by the time the reached the fields where the alicorn family was staying until Luna and Wynn gained more strength. As soon as she saw Sophie and Linh, Silveny, who had been circling in the sky, came down to meet them, whinnying excitedly. Linh stroked the beautiful alicorn's neck while she waited for Sophie's silent conversation with Silveny to end. "She loves the idea," Sophie informed Linh a moment later. "She's been trying to get me to fly with her for days now." She led Linh into the pasture. Silveny knelt down to let Sophie onto her back, and Linh approached Greyfell. "Wait," Sophie said suddenly. She was already sitting on Silveny, who now trotted up to Linh, until she was standing next to her. "Silveny wants you to fly with her." "Don't you always ride her?" Linh asked. "Yes. I do always ride Silveny." Sophie smiled, flooding Linh's heart with a sort of quiet, fierce joy that radiated out through her whole body, and offered the Hydrokinetic her hand. "She says she can carry both us of. Unless you don't want to?" Linh smiled back, taking the hand Sophie was offering her. "I'd love to." Silveny bent her legs a little to make it easier for Linh to mount her. With Sophie's help, she climbed onto the alicorn's back and settled behind Sophie, feeling like her feather-light heart might float away into the darkening sky, where the first stars already sparkled. "Hold on!" Sophie called over her shoulder. Linh wrapped her arms around Sophie's waist, hesitantly at first, but her grip quickly tightened, shyness forgotten, when Silveny launched up into the sky. As soon as the alicorn levelled out, she loosened her hold. She was struck by how much this flight resembled her daydream. Except... there was one crucial difference. Here, Sophie didn't know how Linh felt about her. Here, Sophie viewed Linh as a friend. Here, Sophie didn't love Linh back. How do you know that? What if... she does? No. She can't. Linh shut her eyes, enjoying the wind of the flight in her face, hoping the cool air would clear her mind, stop the thoughts that weren't getting her anywhere. "It's beautiful up here," Sophie murmured softly. Linh nodded, then remembered Sophie couldn't see her. "It's one of the reasons I love flying. I feel like there'll never stop being this sense of wonder. It's somehow... unreal up here. So peaceful and beautiful." It was true. And it soothed her mind. At least a little. She felt more at ease than she had all day. But not completely. Her emotions continued raging a ferocious war inside her, tearing her back and forth between joy and despair, her resolve of positivity fighting the hopelessness of her situation. She couldn't go on like this. It was slowly destroying her; everything building up, her feelings becoming stronger- and more conflicting. Tell her. Then at least it'll be over. Then you'll know. Then you can put it behind you. Just tell her, Linh's mind whispered. She dreaded what might happen. But she would need to tell Sophie eventually. She could feel it. She wouldn't be able to go like this forever. And maybe... maybe she might love you back. The thought was so quiet Linh almost missed it. An impossible hope that refused to let her go, that returned with an ever-increasing frequency. "Are you sure you're fine?" Sophie inquired suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen. "You're even quieter than usual lately." "Yes." Linh had decided to tell Sophie. But not up here. She would wait till they had landed. Right now, she was determined to forget her troubles, and just enjoy the flight. Silveny soared through the night sky, and Linh found, that if she simply stopped thinking, and forced all thoughts out of her head, she could relax, enjoying the cool breeze and floating sensation rather than focus on her problems. But as Silveny's hooves touched groud again, everything came rushing back. The two girls dismounted, and walked across the pasture, away from the alicorns' enclosure, in silence. Linh dug out her pathfinder. "Thanks for letting me fly with you," she said. "I had a great time." Sophie smiled. "So did I." Tell her. I can't. Tell her. "Sophie?" "Yes?" "I..." Linh's voice died out. She couldn't do this! "Are you ok?" Sophie inquired cautiously. "I... I... I love you." Linh's voice got quieter and quieter, until she could barely hear herself speak. But it was still loud enough for Sophie. "Oh." "I'm sorry," Linh whispered. Sadly, she raised her pathfinder. Did you actually expect her to like you? she chided herself, trying to squash the disappointment that was welling in her. Still, there was also a certain sense of relief that she'd brought it all behind her. "Don't be." Linh hesitantly turned back to face Sophie. "I had a lot of confusion over my feelings. I still do. But you know what I know for sure by now? I love you too." "Oh..." This time it was Linh who said it. Sophie's brown eyes were full of warmth, her smile kind and wonderful. The joy was back again, pulsing through Linh in time with her nerves-and-elation-quickened heartbeat. And then she was leaning in and so was Sophie. Her eyes shutting, Linh closed the final distance between them. Softly, their lips touched. Category:Blog posts